EMAHO

Fluctuating between id and superego, his ego has a massive importance to his own existence.   Surely, not a truffle to my appetite or demeanor, his egotism juggles me like the fire sticks "off" in the hands and "on" in the air of a circus clown. On an amazing risk, the sticks can fall off and burn away the vicinity any nick of time. Well, that is what is amusing to him I feel, the thrill of the fire sticks in his OWN hands and the life of the fire marveled in his control.   Selflessly selfish, he changes the play and games harder losing the sense of grip. Yes! I can't burn anything else but my ownself. Complexity counted on his art of creative behavior, he can dump the fire sticks for new ones in case they don’t unrealistically pump his sense of self-importance infront of the audience, as his PUBLIC IMAGE is the focus of his conduct. His silent treatments on ignorance would cruelly blurt out my temperament as am being punished for his flaws and mistakes whic...

Verakhadi was always on my list past years and I surely wanted to travel there with him. Had heard about the mystic largeness of nature there as folks visited the habitat for a peaceful bliss, being tired of horns, honks and the busy city life. A day it so happened that we both finally took a local train to nearby station named Anand, planning to move further as the pillion on his friend's ride. As they say, day is all about twists and turns, the ride ditched us at the last moment. Having waited almost half a day to arrange a mode of transport, we finally dropped the plan and set forth to explore the town where he spent his growing years graduating. Struck by heat and hunger, he finally took me to a beautiful place named "Baker's Heaven" with graffiti all over walls that surely made me feel finally alive. Stuffed with Mexican and Indian food plattered to the belly that was growling and grumping inside, the man and me strolled to explore, t...

Was listening to "Lay All Your Love On Me by Abba" and had this sudden low thought regarding wastage of human emotions through bad behaviour,wrong words and unwanted expressions. Be it money,love,career or search of solace by a hermit-all the concerns seek just one thing well defined as HAPPINESS at the end of anger,tears,frustration and deadlier dumbness..As the song goes,I understand that companionship is an important aspect of human existence as it ensures radiance,but why is it all about expectations,weakening and manipulations. If i step merely away from the heart throbbing dilemmas,i set to wonder..Why do people suddenly start crying at the funerals!!..What is so happening and deep about one sided love!!..Why people get themselves treated for depression when they just cant stop worrying on negative!!..What is the point in suffering inert for the sake of soothing your own ego!!..What is with falling on destructive crossraods to vent out anger!!.. Call me ma...

Imagining to live without air and then imagining something worse. On the slow and heroic construction of being the different beings, all that i can see around in people is the war like addiction. Marked by indistinguishability and imprisonment, it has the tendency to make a sensible man run dry and a woman act neither innocent nor praiseworthy. People dope, fag their lungs out amidst the dirty smokes, get drunk with whatever available,get obssessed away from the reality and subtlity of delightful hours. It is about illusions, delusions, egoism, superiority complexes, apprehensions, irritabilities, numbness amidst all the fascinated highs and permanent cold wants. It is about losing the most gentle countours from the life. I know, for the addicts i am on a crucial meaningless hit of mere words as the secret of happiness is disputed, peace of mind is no where online and struggling to be alive is the loss of instinct from the nature. Haha!!, who can ever fix the inevitable with ...

For men lie and women lie,for men conceal and women conceal too,for men can walk away and women justifies.  He said,"Beiby,speak all the truth,I will rock bottom the flames and we will be happy together ever after!!". There arises this greed,the greed of being loved by the one you love. She goes all confident and spills the beans on all that he doubted with clear statements and she could not ever confess dead scared of being judged wrong and losing him. She was being selfish and that is where the sin was as she strolled in the past that she had dumped long back with no thoughts of reverting back (just to satisfy his sense of his righteousness). The blames were on fire and she was getting all pysched cause she hated regretting and justifying. She was an independent existence and respected herself that way and he was a control freak who respected himself that way. Past is none of his business and his encounters none of hers,but the fact lay that adventure of passion had to i...

Carrying a big bag and a gigantic smile, that is me crazily mad and alive.. I was enthusiastic to learn guitar at the age of 6 that gradually declined.. I learnt psychology and philosophy instead, as my age grew on biology and human science.. I love highs but hate addictions as they are not sublimed.. I laugh at every possible thing and burst away to revive.. I was born as a nomad that took its vigour when I learnt to travel to my delight.. Ooooooo!!,blah blah blah.. This an' that.. haha haha haha!!..Aashique 2 took my name away to new generalising heights.. I love without stomach,brain and incapability to de-energise.. I am tactlessly outspoken and dont even sarcastically realise.. I am highly educated with no money-earning desperate drive.. I am as stupid as I behave on guessing wild.. I am introvertly extrovert and very much shy.. I need all my drinks with generous flames, sugar and ice.. I have anger bouts as big as the highest swi...

As defined by the norms, Indian Railways have a fashion of coming late when am on time, and arriving on time when I plan up late.. Travelling by public transport is itself an crazy ride, but travelling everyday is "lesser or more" severe a penalty that I need to survive.. People pushing, pulling and fat aunties who think me being slim is a blessing to them from the divine..Sometimes, I find them sitting over my half thigh with still an expectation of my other thigh..Uncles who either flaunt their dyed hair or guys who play loud bhojpuri melodies on their Micromax remembering the love of their lives..Old couples romancing extra-maritally to my laughing companions who feel such amusement is our birth right..Kids running all over the compartment and stopping each "samosa and bhel" vendor that passes by..Windows to be opened or windows to be closed is always a thought cause of the man sitting around who can spit the "tobacco" off his mouth anytime..Dar...

No maddened and unstable emotions prevail anymore and all I have felt through "silence of my own mind" is the artistic ability of being optimistically powerful to let things slip off my hands, for them to come back alive in my arms again. Nothing about a person, but freedom from mental bondage is what everybody deserves, they say. No black-and-whites or hues-of-blunt-greys attract because am entranced by the colors of happiness, self-control and unraged self - learning the art of life. Free yourselves from the pasts, judgements, hatred, hurtful instances, obsessions, addictions, hypocrisy, twisted lies. Free yourselves from the world that says,"Listen!!, be one of us to survive". Be enamoured in the abyss to know that our own hopes make us move on in lives. Love him unconditionally. Let him realise. Enamoured in the abyss. I realise.

A sweet lil' lady who just looks so gorgeous with simple sentences with profound emotions attached to them. A robust fearless frowning man on rage. Doesnt smile. Doesnt let anybody smile either. We dont have to walk in the same shoes as Veera(Alia Bhatt) or crap a movie just cause all you see are highways back and forth through the front of a small old truck driven by apna hawtness Hooda.  A small window of a moving train and bang pops "Window Seat Films" living you filled with sudden gush of peace. In the beginning,you tend to laugh on the sense of freedom the girl needs and her expressions on the same. She doesnt want to stop breathing till (click) she is abducted. Here, begins the journey of "In BONDAGE, She Found FREEDOM".  As the story unfolds (contrary to the reviews I get from people stating "yaar koi story hi nahi hai"), it starts to delight the travel freaks with the the same sense of need of "some more" as initia...

Some people just breathe and few others just breathe free.. Most of us dont even exist..Most of us exist more than required.. The eternity is gigantically beyond my concern.. What I feel worldly around me-is too worthless to even show concern.. Why are people so in need of a good public image!?!?.. Why people so desperately want to be part of social circles!?!?.. Why are people so scared of saying,"NO"!?!?.. Why liberation is just about sex and dope,what is to be done with conservative real thoughts and actions beyond them!?!?.. Why people want to conceal their flaws and mistakes!?!?.. Why do they run away from problems and realities!?!?.. Why is "truth" non-accepable and "this is the right you want to hear" so famous!?!?.. Why so many needs and a heart so small to give!?!?.. Why no straight-forwardness!?!?.. Existence* What I feel worldly around me-makes my heart ponder about everything thats not my concern.. A mother's heart.. ...

Past five years, I have just sensed that life has just been an ordeal of negative emotions. I try coming out of the waves but am clasped by my own good hopes of turning the relation as a pleasant outcry of happiness-someday. I am just trying whole single handedly, still devalued and degraded on every aspect. There is immense rage in me to keep me striving ahead and enough rage to destroy what I have constructed.  When I give without second thoughts, I am entertained. When I demand, I am dumped ruthlessly on accusations unjustified and unreasonable. Succumbing myself to absence of empathy, egotism, unrealistic demands, blame-shifting and trauma, sometimes I know that it the narcissism am victimised to and sometimes I find myself not good enough of being treated well. There is an inner dilemma. Living on just double standards of my own existence. I shout outspoken-ness when I cant take it nomore. I cry away to sleep till I can hold myself intact with patience. Haha...

As much as I think,the more enough it becomes to think more. Gazing at something somewhere,I blink.  What would be the cost of changing the mind set? What would be next? What shall I wear tomorrow?  Will I get sleep now? Is this song doing good for now or I need to hear something else? Should I move on or wait in hopes? Should I travel that far or sleep late? Should I activate net connectivity this month or be the same anti-socialising git? This bag or the other one? Will this pair of shoes do fair? Does he love me or not? Contact lenses or the spectacles? Tea or coffee? The voices within or the mind? Just a text or a call is required? Science or philosophy? Do all think the way I think? Being outspoken or being diplomatic? Being silent on the dodgy gender politics or hitting one right across the face? To befriend or shut away? To be or not to be? One view unrelatively answering the other,the speech gets condensed to mere momen...

Duniya kehti hai, "jo mange,use milta hai aur jo dikhta hai woh bikta hai!!" Haha!!,duniya!!.. Maine manga tha safar,mili yeh zindagi.. Maine mangi this zindagi,mile kai safar.. Having travelled since I was in the womb, nothing more justifies my addiction to explorations. There is deep sense of elation when I breathe in the thought of unplanned travel and there is no other life I desire beyond it. My idea of love is when he looks into my eyes and knows that I want to travel with him straight forth. Silent beaches, railway tracks, trains, bridges, harbours, islands, mountains, forests, unidentified heritage, cultural fairs, unknown roads, known roads, village haats, living bridges, clouds, nights, days, mornings and unquestioned smiles. Who cares of being a medic,a hospital administrator,a dual masters degree holder,a high earning thing in society,a woman with successful career on desire,an expected housechores wife to a super successful husband who earns big moola...

Threaded onto one, I sense impatience loosing patience on good temperament. Experiencing silence that is much much louder on their self-obsessions and runs on their instant gratification rules of precedence, OMG!!, is that what being baffled means!! If yes!!, I surely am on my tolerance. wink* Oddly enough, the above wasnt even a joke that would generalise laughter. Evenly enough, I laughed. Simple complications as they are and would always adamantly be, they are true Rihanna-ian innovations of drama. I wouldnt say Gaga as that becomes a "WOW!!" for these strange humanly entities. They make you bear their spontaneous "I am this, I am that, I would be this and I would be that and you can be nothing, do you get that!?!?-nothing!!" on immortality of thoughts and exclusive point of "REASONABLE AND LOGICAL" view.  Grrrrrrrhhhh!!, so much festering in a good devotion.  Standing ovation*  (haha!!, zaroor,kyun nahi!!, bas khayalon mei...

I am expected to do is protect my virtue for that dictated one. Running not so covered defines me impure on a major basis of being dejected and signifying me with "swearwords" that define the counterbearer's thought flow and obsessed need. I am a feminine human.  I am lured on trust, raped to be called a VICTIM, pitied on my plea and doodled all over the world that is not in concern at all to cry over the so termed justice. This is one part. The second part is elaborative on a gigantic scale that puts my ethics on the weighing machine. "That man is a saint,you are blaming him wrong." or "That man is not to be blamed,it was consensual." or "That man is a victim and you are framing a conspiracy to save your name in the SOCIETY, you are a liar!!" or the more, "You are a shame cause you let that man do that to you." and "Arre!!,tu toh hai hi aisi ladki." I am not allowed to bleed before somebody else decides it for m...

Artistically and away from complexities, the presence with each other is like smooth flow of time as none of us want to depart out of the happiness shared spending real time. None elaborates on randomness of emotions or enforcement of ideas as we understand even an indirect glance. It is a perfect companionship, undoubtedly and respectfully if seen from a microscopic view of relativity and compatibility. We are classico perfecto. The tricky part is the distance of individuality and his Arian masculanity, where my Sagitarian intensity is enslaved. His worldy needs are superior and so are "coupled" mine. He needs people churned by workoholism, whereas at the end of the day, I need him to myself, as undivided mine. We both feel dominated and compromised as his "no time to communicate" kills my sensibility and patience that suddenly run away feared by time. Understandable, the man needs space, freedom from mental slavery and his own time. Understandable, the woman wan...

On subtly bewildered thoughts,his aura and glamour show firmly in his brown intoxicating eyes, his irrisistible hands, straight thoughts-inducing-thoughts and innocent laughter. Meet that man. Yes!!,the man of meliorism who lives with an immense sense of selflessness, deep emotions, a fragile heart clad behind a tough mental strength and presence that is comforting till the soul. Being a weak expressionist,he surely can reason the need of good expressions. His silence speaks more deeper words and his words are powerful to silent the silence. Sometimes, all that is needed is to hear him dusk and dawn, or look through his eyes and understand the world of his mind. All needed is just true him. Egoistically manly, he is capable to rage a havoc and destructive war. But he holds himself back to ordeals and reasons, that inevitably put him at par. A nomadic by activities, life and flow of intense thoughts he is a genuine sight to all the senses,perceptions and feelings that can ignite. He...

It's a difficult new experience, a wonderfully, extraordinarily crafted fable of a life changing and challenging odyssey-from a poker face to surfeit of contentment and happiness. Life has become a theme park of theosophy of love and belongingness-thawing the menace which i thought was unremediable. Flowing from being sloppy to smacked..obnoxious to the oasis of solace..insolent and insoluble to inversed..invective to flourishing with subtle flow of my dimples..inward looking to invulnerable..porous to twee..waived to walking over..I feel going unaccountable to the world. Love has become the viatica given to a person near or in danger of death, the death of feeling Yahweh being loved obsessively and fiercely and seemingly so very truly,deeply and madly after insufferable and ornated love ordeals. I am mesmerised by the metaphysical rhinestone achievement through fantasies pacified by the communion of our souls which are into indepth love and attachment being one. The word...