YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO REMEMBER

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Past five years, I have just sensed that life has just been an ordeal of negative emotions. I try coming out of the waves but am clasped by my own good hopes of turning the relation as a pleasant outcry of happiness-someday. I am just trying whole single handedly, still devalued and degraded on every aspect. There is immense rage in me to keep me striving ahead and enough rage to destroy what I have constructed. 

When I give without second thoughts, I am entertained.
When I demand, I am dumped ruthlessly on accusations unjustified and unreasonable.

Succumbing myself to absence of empathy, egotism, unrealistic demands, blame-shifting and trauma, sometimes I know that it the narcissism am victimised to and sometimes I find myself not good enough of being treated well. There is an inner dilemma. Living on just double standards of my own existence.

I shout outspoken-ness when I cant take it nomore.
I cry away to sleep till I can hold myself intact with patience.
Haha Haha!!, this is termed as self created helplessness.

Loving always, sometimes I powerfully hate.
He blames,"Why you have to be so destructive!!"..
I explain,"Cause you have just chosen to remember the bad I have done to reciprocate your worst that is dwelled inside deep within my abyss".. 

Laughing always, sometimes I just stop.
People exclaim,"Why!! Why you have to live like this!!"..
I exclaim,"Cause I cant let go being weak but am strong enough to fight back..happiness would happen one day"..

 I may be wrong practically but in my belief, I am moving right for my perseverance..

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